PIA:
Today, I’m here with Pastor Paolo, the Senior Pastor of Victory Fort, and Ms. Jenn who is very active in church as well because she’s always doing talks, giving counseling, leading small group, and actually finished her 20-year long career in homeschooling.
JENN:
Yes, it’s a bittersweet feeling. I completely devoted myself to that and it was a very long chapter. Ending one chapter just means starting another. Now, I’m back in school and studying again. It was something I’ve always wanted to do, but I decided to wait because I wanted to spend time with my children. We really decided to focus on the kids while they’re young because there will always be time for other things; but, you cannot bring back the time you have with your children.
PIA:
That was such a tough decision because you put yourself on the back burner and put your kids first. How has giving your 100% attention to them manifested in their lives?
JENN:
I’d like to think that it helped them. There are days where you feel like “Wow, our investment is really paying off” but there are other days when we’re like “Anong nangyari?!” There are good days and bad days, but I think in the long run we will see all the fruits of our labor.
PIA:
It’s really inconceivable for some people that a pastor and a pastor’s wife still have tough times when they raise and school their children. People expect your kids to be such angelic individuals, but there’s still challenges.
JENN:
Yeah, exactly. You know we probably had the same expectations other people had about our kids too. We thought “Wait, I homeschooled you, read the Bible with you every night, and prayed with you everyday. How come this is happening?” We had to get rid of our own expectations and let them just live their lives.
PAOLO:
You have to understand that we’re humans too. We have the same challenges everybody does. It’s just that we’re called to serve.
JENN:
We, as parents, are as flawed as every parent out there. We have had our own share of mistakes and challenges with the kids. And, the same goes with our kids. They’re as flawed as any other child out there.
PAOLO:
But, I do want to honor Jenn because she homeschooled them for 20 years. Before we got married, I asked her what her dream in life was and she said “to be a mom”. And, she’s fulfilling that dream to this very day. With her education, leadership, and skills, she can easily be a CEO of a company today, but she put that aside for the kids.
JENN:
I really wouldn’t have been able to do it if I were alone without Paolo supporting me the way he does.
PIA:
Why did you always dream of becoming a mom and make being a mom your top priority, Jenn? Because, some people really think that they should prioritize their career.
JENN:
It was a mutual decision actually. Because of Paolo’s situation growing up also, he wanted us to give the best of our time and energy to our children. But, that’s for us. Other families are called to do different things and we respect that. We believe that God works through that set-up anyway, because what’s important is your heart as parents and your desire to disciple them and bring them up in God’s way. There’s no one way to do that, but homeschooling and staying at home is what worked for our family.
PAOLO:
As a family, you should really discern and ask God to lead you to where He wants you to go and how you should go about it kasi iba-iba talaga. You can’t say this is the best and only way.
PIA:
You guys have 4 kids and I can’t imagine how magulo that is, because we have 2 kids and it’s already so magulo.
PAOLO:
Actually, ako nga yung panganay eh.
JENN:
Yes, I have 5 kids. But, I love the gulo.
PIA:
So when do you start their walk with God and how do you do it? For us, we read them Bible bedtime stories every night and take them to Kids Church. But, is that enough or should there be more that we should do?
JENN:
What you’re doing is actually very good already. We asked ourselves if what we’re doing as parents is enough even though we devoted so many years to homeschooling. But, I always go back to the story of the 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. It’s like the need of the multitude is so great and what you have isn’t enough. Your kids have their own multitude of needs at home. For example, if Paolo comes home at 6 or 7pm, he only has a few hours to spend with the kids, so he’s thinking “This is my 2 fish and 5 loaves, but I offer that to You, Lord, and bless it so that it will fill the needs of my kids.” It really isn’t enough and that’s why we have to go to God. We should ask Him to bless whatever little we have, because He will be the one to use that to have an effect on the children.
Deuteronomy 6:4-8
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
PAOLO:
In other words, the Bible is saying anywhere and anytime we should live out God’s word. For us, we found that meal time is one of the best places to have great conversations. I personally like to use stories to weave in a principle, because some people, especially kids, remember the story. We have a box where you can pull out a short Bible verse then we just ask them what they think about it and pray afterwards. We integrated it in our lives already and they realize that the Bible is integrated into everything.
PIA:
We really try to be intentional when it comes to doing that too. I remember either Pastor Jeff or Pastor Pao asking “Why do we attribute certain things to luck or tsamba when you can attribute it to God as the source?” So, I really try to incorporate that.
PAOLO:
Jenn is very prayerful, so whenever something comes up, she really says “Let’s pray.” When you share the Word of God, there’s a level of consciousness of the presence of God in the lives of the children, so you can talk to God whether it be about school or you bruised your knee.
JENN:
Find every opportunity to point them to God kahit subtle lang. But, in your mind and in your heart, you’re really pointing them to Him.
PIA:
I remember I told you guys that I went to a parenting conference here, because I really didn’t know what to do with my daughter and I learned a lot from that seminar. How do you guys deal with challenges and problems?
JENN:
Here are the steps we take as parents:
- Pray together for our kids as husband and wife and ask for God’s presence to manifest Himself in that situation.
- Connect with other parents who can help us because we don’t know everything.
PIA:
Does the work as parents get tougher as they grow older? Diba dapat easier na?
PAOLO:
Well, I wouldn’t say tougher. It’s just different because they’re in a different stage of their life. I think when the foundations are there and the reliance of the grace of God envelops everything, it will be a joy when you see them grow in their relationship with the Lord and focus on Him. When they make the right decisions, you realize that the Bible works. There’s challenges but there’s a lot of joy as well.
PIA:
Do you have to loosen up the reins as they get older?
JENN:
Our goal as parents is to hopefully decrease our control over them and give them more freedom to make their own decisions. As our authority decreases, our hope is that God’s authority in their lives increases. We step back little by little and allow God to step in. It’s hard to lose control but what has made it easier to me is giving the control to God knowing that He is almighty and powerful.
PAOLO:
He’s the best parent anyone could ever have.
JENN:
Let’s say you’re walking in Alabang with 1 million pesos in cash in your bag. Diba you would feel so scared carrying that around because you know you’re not enough to keep that safe? But, if you put it in an armored car, you’re sure that your precious money will be safe. It’s the same with our kids. We think it’s better if they’re in our control, but we can potentially destroy them. We don’t have what it takes to keep them safe and protect them, so we should surrender them to God because they are in a much better place in God’s hands than in ours.
PIA:
Now, lalo na sila Janina and Nate who are all grown up and creatives in their own right. How are they doing as adults? Are you happy with the outcome?
PAOLO:
Yeah
JENN:
Yeah, we are. Rollercoaster yan talaga. Sometimes it’s a spiral with an up and down, but think of it as a spring pointing upwards. As they go up and down, the long term of that is still up because there’s growth after every down.
PIA:
Pastor Pao, is it hard for you to shift from being Pastor Pao to Daddy Pao?
PAOLO:
Well, I try my very best to be just dad for them. For example, when Nate got married, I didn’t want to be the pastor who was gonna officiate the wedding. What will spell the difference are the conversations and memories that are built. How do you convey what you’re trying to say? Are you trying to convey it as a pastor or as a dad?
JENN:
Paolo is a fun and cool dad to the kids. To him, being a pastor is not just a job. It’s already ingrained in him so it takes effort for him to put down the pastor hat. Sometimes, the kids would say “Dad, don’t preach to me please. Just listen.” I’m very proud and amazed to see how teachable Paolo is and how he listens to the kids.
PIA:
I love the way that you guys are always together. #FamilyGoals talaga kayo kasi even your kids who are grown up na still stick to you guys. You still do things together as a family even now that they’re older. How do you do that?
JENN:
It was so much easier when they were young.
PAOLO:
We created an environment of fun so they can enjoy being together. During the pandemic, we memorized Psalm 23 with TikTok dance moves. Conversations at the dinner table can go for 30-45 minutes without gadgets because it’s fun and we’re able to bring up conversations there.
JENN:
Get to know your kids so you know what they enjoy doing. It’s not us always scheduling or choosing the events and places to go. Since Nate and Pauline are married, we ask them if there’s a restaurant they want to try. We also played tennis and even online games to bond with them. Go into their world and do the things they love.
PIA:
Pastor Pao, you mentioned the pandemic. I’m sure there were questions like “Why did God let this happen?” How did you counsel your kids about it and how did you talk them through it?
PAOLO:
There were highs and very low lows. There was frustration, isolation, and disconnection.
JENN:
Sometimes when our kids have questions, we feel like we need to give them the answers but we didn’t have them. I mean all of us were asking why this was happening, so it’s ok not to be able to answer their questions. All you have to do is be there for them and listen when they have questions. The only thing we knew was that God was there and that He will see us through. Again, just keep pointing them to the Lord.
PAOLO:
One thing I’ve learned also during the pandemic is that a huge thing about the next generation is that they want to be seen and heard. Even if you don’t have the answers, listening is a huge thing already as it is.
JENN:
Sometimes when they have questions, they don’t want answers. They want to be felt by you. That’s what we can give to our kids. We can tell them that we understand and we may not have the answers to their questions, but we feel as frustrated and as lost as them. What they need deep down is an emotional connection with you.
PIA:
As parents, our purpose is to also raise children who will also honor God and make disciples. Do you already see them doing that after laying down the foundation?
PAOLO:
I think the most important part is that they learn to honor God and that comes from a relationship with Jesus. When they understand the Gospel and the love of God for them, they will naturally have the desire to glorify God in their lives and to share God’s word to others so they can experience His love in their lives too. We see that in the children now in a small group or one on one setting and when they’re posting, playing, and talking.
JENN:
It’s really an overflow. If they just focus on their relationship with God, they have no choice but to disciple people through their lives as they encounter others and as people encounter them.
PIA:
Thank you very much for this conversation with the two of you! I was really looking forward to this because I knew that I was going to learn so much and I did. Thank you so much, Pastor Pao and Jenn, for your time today! Thank you for listening in and we’ll see you next time!